Juicing and juice cleanses are all the rage these days. Dr. Mehmet Oz, the cardiac surgeon turned TV personality is a great proponent of juicing. He has his own 3-Day Detox Cleanse, which seems very easy to follow.
My system needed a jump-start, a complete cleansing. I knew that if I had to make the detox teas and juices myself, it would be a miracle if I got through one day.
So I opted to buy a 3-Day Detox Juice Cleanse from Pressed Juicery, knowing that every time I opened my refrigerator and saw all those rather expensive juices, I was going to drink them.
Day 1 of detox cleanse
8 a.m.: According to the company’s website, the cleanse will arrive by FedEx by 11 a.m. After dropping off my daughter at school, I head home to await my juice delivery.
10:15 a.m.: The juices have arrived, are unpacked and in the refrigerator. They are numbered in the order they should be drunk. Three rows, six bottles each, of nutritionally dense, cold-pressed juice to rid my body of the toxins of modern life.
I open juice No. 1, a blend of kale, spinach, romaine, parsley, cucumber, celery, apple, lemon and ginger. It was really good, quite refreshing actually.
“I can do this!” I thought.
11 a.m.: I am hungry.
Noon: It’s about time for juice No. 2, a blend of cucumber, pineapple, lemon, coconut water and aloe vera. It went down smooth and easy.
12:15 p.m.: I am hungry.
2 p.m.: Juice No. 3 is carrot, cucumber, spinach and parsley. This was a more substantial juice, slightly thicker from the carrots.
“This one should stick to my ribs,” I thought.
2:30 p.m.: I am hungry.
2:35 p.m.: The “cleansing” aspect of the juice kicks in. I am extremely grateful to work at home.
4 p.m.: Juice No. 4 is another light blend, with pineapple, apple, lemon and mint. By this time, I am feeling very fatigued, probably from lack of caffeine. Or the complete lack of food in my body.
4:15 p.m.: I am hungry. No, I am starving.
4:30 p.m.: Trying to distract myself from food I start surfing the web. Bad idea. My Facebook and Google+ feeds are full of food writers and bloggers, all with new posts about what they were cooking. Pinterest is a visual feast. Rethinking this web surfing thing.
6 p.m.: Time to make dinner for my daughter. I am trying not to be resentful of her being able to eat, but the lack of food is distorting my ability to think clearly. Or even think at all.
6:15 p.m.: Juice No. 5 is horrible! I do not like the taste of this blend of cucumber, celery, watercress, lemon, ginger and cayenne. It was like drinking spicy grass.
6:30 p.m.: I am hungry and irritable because I didn’t like my last juice. I believe I hissed at my cats as they were loudly meowing for their dinner.
8 p.m.: They saved the best for last. Juice No. 6 is a delicious blend of almonds, dates, vanilla bean and sea salt. Luscious, rich and satisfying, it was almost like a dessert. Almost.
I finished the day with a bottle of aloe vera water, which is supposed to help with the “cleansing” aspect. After drinking all that juice I cannot possibly see how you would need any more help with the “cleansing” part!
8 a.m.: I am feeling akin to what you might scrape off your shoe. I understand this is par for the course from others who have done a three-day cleanse. They all say Day 2 is the hardest.
9 a.m.: Juice No. 1 down. Time to get to work. Except for not being able to focus on anything, this should be a piece of cake. Cake! I want cake!
11:30 a.m.: I have to go to my daughter’s school to help with her kindergarten graduation party. Then they bring in the pizza. Just the smell almost sends me over the edge. I start getting dizzy, which may be because I tried to stop breathing so I wouldn’t smell the pizza anymore. I excuse myself and go home for another juice.
2:30 p.m: Back to my daughter’s school to pick her up. Cranky, irritable, starving is how I would describe my state of mind. I may or may not have growled at my daughter.
4 p.m.: If I do not eat something I am going to start chewing on my laptop. The juice people tell you to have a few slices of cucumber or apple if you really have too. Ha! I make a lovely salad of baby greens dressed with vinegar.
I decide to skip the nasty juice, since I had eaten that salad.
7 p.m.: Time for my dessert juice! I could drink this one everyday.
I wake up feeling rather good. I am not hungry, or overly tired. The crankiness level is down, and I am feeling a real sense of accomplishment.
Noon: I go pick up my daughter after her last day of kindergarten. For her special graduation meal, she chooses to go to McDonald’s for a Happy Meal. When you’re 6, McDonald’s is a destination restaurant. The smell of the fries almost gets me, but I am strong!
The rest of Day 3 is uneventful. I even drink the nasty juice, albeit quickly while holding my nose. As always, I finish with my dessert juice, happy to know the 3-Day Detox Cleanse is over.
I made it.
And I am 10 pounds lighter.
Top photo: Bottles for the 3-day detox cleanse. Credit: Cheryl D. Lee